How To Find Good Movie Reviews

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Monday, December 15th, 2008 Subscribe To Our Feed

Being a prolific movie reviewer myself, I often find myself sitting at my computer wondering just what the heck I’m doing there. Why would one bother writing new DVD movie reviews, let alone reading one? As an individual, I enjoy the thrill of picking out a film based on its trailer-fueled merits, traveling to the local megaplex, and plunking down with a gut-busting soda among the filthy and annoyingly loud masses. I enjoy discovering good films and conversely, I enjoy finding a new film to loathe. New DVD reviews of movies, the latest theatrical releases, and reviews of movies that only exist on DVD are all great places to find something new and fresh.

As a hyper-conscious, anti-social, nihilist, I still sit their wondering what the point of such rabid consumerism might be. It’s a movie! That’s all! It’s not some life-changing philosophical discourse. It isn’t the latest unfulfillable, promise-laden speech from the next charismatic politician in line for the presidency, which every snow-jobbed, flag-wielding patriot tells you that you have to see. It’s a commercial piece of filth, spewed onto the screen to snake dollars, or debit card swipes, from your wallet.

Still, in an economy where disposable income is rapidly decreasing and the price of a good-time (consuming alcoholic beverages, strip clubs, prostitutes) is an increasingly expensive proposition, the movie theater is one of the few places where one can escape their bill-filled lives without breaking the bank. It’s one of the few remaining places where your common person can avoid getting reamed by gas stations or variable interest rates. Of course, this is only true if you check out movies during the day and forego all of the amenities, grease-covered popcorn, drinks that put Lake Superior to shame, and processed, nitrate-filled meat products plopped into the middle of an enriched white bun.

In this respect, the movie reviewer is the last great hope of stress relief, of societal maintenance and good vibe regulation. Who else is going to help you decide where to plunk down ten bucks? No one. All your friends are probably just as moronic as you are if you can’t figure out if a movie is good for you or not, and any recommendation from them will have you sitting in front of the latest Will Smith stinkfest most likely.

The trick is finding a movie reviewer that suits your particular tastes. Relying on a particular author’s movie reviews simply because they are popular or their reviews are humorous is a surefire way to wind up shaking your fist at a newspaper, TV screen, or computer screen. Do you like horror flicks? Find a reviewer that specializes in horror flicks. Do you like stumbling across a foreign rarity? Find a reviewer who scours the globe for the latest foreign classics. A little research will go a long way to ensuring your dollar and your pleasure. Believe me, there’s a movie reviewer out there for everyone.

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